It’s the end of the world as we know it

Day 2 under the cruel yoke of the ‘carbon tax’.

It’s true. It’s all true. How blind we were not to see it! This toxic tax is destroying us all.

I’m reporting to you from my bunker in Townsville, where the unseasonably warm weather is just one sign of how devastating this tax has been. Now, what I have to say might shock readers,, but I’m committed to bring you the truth – no matter how ugly.

As I write this, I look around me at the ruin of our civilisation. In this once-neat middle-class suburb, I can see lawns that need mowing, dogs romping – without leashes in the park opposite, and the raucous, triumphant laughter of the lorikeets drowns out the sound of the lamenting populace.

Tony Abbott was right. This tax is hurting us all. Why, just last night we were forced to choose between Masterchef and The Block. What sort of government institutes a tax that divides families like that?

And it gets worse. We’d planned a family roast dinner, but because of the carbon tax, the meat was undercooked and we had to eat in the dark.

Today, we plan to venture out into the chaos to see what can be salvaged. We’ll have to walk, of course – we need to conserve what little petrol remains for when we’ll inevitably have to flee. It’s just a question of where. We could probably survive in the mountains, but it might be better for us to sell whatever we can and get on a boat. I’m sure we could find a country generous enough to take in carbon tax refugees.

It’s the children who suffer most, and my heart breaks to see them. My niece can no longer access Facebook, and my teenage nephew had to wake up at (dear god) 7.00 am and go to work.

My computer’s batteries are dying now, so I’ll have to finish this entry and hope it gets out. People need to know.

Just remember – it’s only going to get worse from here. Soon, we’ll be reduced to living in armed camps and eating each other for food – uncooked, of course. Tony Abbott warned us and we didn’t listen.

And he couldn’t possibly be wrong, could he? Just look at the evidence.


10 Responses to It’s the end of the world as we know it

  1. jane says:

    We tried eating some pensioners, but they were too stringy. However, we have found a few fit ones for the treadmill. At least it builds up some muscle and enough power to use the crock pot.

  2. lilacsigil says:

    Where are you getting petrol for $1.18, Chaos Crafter? It’s been full-on petrolpocalypse for months here – nothing under $1.46!

  3. Neef. says:

    What do you mean ‘Soon’ ?
    Brunswick has been particularly hard hit, with the merest whiff of the possibility of a Carbon Tax pushing the suburb over the edge into Anarchy.

    For the last 6 months we have been barricaded in our house, only rarely venturing out past the razor wire on the gates to hunt pensioners for food and loot pharmacies for the all important antibiotics which can be bartered for other necessities.
    I’m just glad I bought a few solar chargers for the router and the ipads so we can keep in touch with what remains of this once great nation.
    The backyard is space enough for a nice crop of vegetables and while training the cats to bring in native wildlife has not worked as well as I’d initially hoped, It is a lot quieter come dusk.
    We are living day to day / hand to mouth here, and as soon as I can siphon enough premium unleaded (98 of course) from the abandoned cars scattered about, we’ll be off and away to the house at Matlock where we can roll down the fire shutters and laugh as the rest of the country falls into chaos.

    But we shall emerge, months hence, into a new world.
    Yes, my son will grow up in a world without education, and electricity, and the ‘internet’ but he shall be all the stronger for it!
    I will teach him the sacred words of our culture. ‘GST’ and “Left Wing Liberal Bias”. These shall be his comfort and his guide and he takes a role in building a new society.

    Oh yes, I’ve seen it. In my dreams.
    Of course…This carbon tax means that I can no longer afford my medication – so I may be having some ‘issues’ right about now.

  4. It’s the Ross River near Annandale.

  5. Chaos Crafter says:

    Was informed on saturday that they 18c rise on (previously $1.18) fuel prices was due to carbon tax. I plan to report them as soon as I find out where to do so. I suspect the servos pulled prices down so they could jump them in a scare tactic.

  6. Love it. But as an old Townsville person, would like to know where that park is!

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